"Let's Connect, Little One"
Crying, crying, crying instead of napping. It's only been ten minutes, but I can't keep working. I can understand his cries.
"Mommy, mama, mammmmaaa! Why did you leave me in here? Mama, we nap together! Mama, I need to feel you near me. Mama, mommy, please come back! Please?"
I give in like I usually do. I lift him and he encircles my neck. "Mama, I'm tired. Don't leave me," his spirit says to mine.
We lay down. "Let's connect, baby," I say telepathically. Our eyes meet and his light up.
"Mommy, I'm so sleepy, but I love you so much." He silently melts into his pillow.
Our heartbeats change, and his eyes glisten. A quarter-smile comes from the corner of his left cheek.
"This is good mama," he says without speaking.
"This is very, very good, baby," I say silently in return.
I realize that for the first time in days I am FULLY present, right here in the moment, with the little being my body held, grew and birthed. He will only ever be himself, but he is of me and I am in him. Our eyes gleam. We both keep smiling. It's pure.
I don't want the moment to end, and I'm grateful. I feel overwhelming joy and a few tears fall down my face, slowly leaking out. His little eyes trace them down my cheek, his young brain trying to figure out what they are.
"They're tears of happiness, baby."
"I love you," I say aloud. He smiles and slowly blinks.
I speak slowly, "Sleep now," and he tightens his grip on my finger.
"Mama, I don't want to close my eyes, but I'm very tired," he thinks.
"Sleep now," I say aloud again as I stroke his cheek.
I close my eyes and then I open them again. He has given over to sleep and I have given over to gratitude. The space holds us.